Something wrong with Me

akhir-akhir ini fandom gue banyak masalah, apalagi ada skandal kayak gini, yap dating skandal.
tiap kali liat rumor itu di twitter, gue pengen nangis, hati gue panaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasz, pengen meledak, ya tapi gimana gue gak berhak ngatur hidup bias gue :(
mungkin awalnya, awalnya nih ya, most of us (fans) ngerasa kalo bias itu "pacar" kita. to be very honest, yeah its true. masa gak ada yang gak mau pacaran sama bias masing-masing? muna lo.

ada yang pro, ada yang kontra.

GUE????!!!

everytime i see that thing, my heart is throbbing. it hurts me so so so much. it means i didnt have a chance to be with my bias, as a couple. tbh, im in Kontra.

terus gue mikir lagi...

i have no right untuk ngatur bias gue, bias gue deserves happiness, salah satunya dengan cara dating.
and now im in the middle of Pro and Kontra.

It feels so GOOD, but HURT SO BAD. BAD BAAAAAD.
biasanya kalo gue denger tentang dating scandal kek gitu, gue langsung down, i lost my spirits.
gue gak mau makan.
gue gak mau liat hp.
gue sedih.
gue terpuruk.
gue pengen teriak.
gue pengen curhat. tapi curhat sama siapa? temen gue gak ngerti sama yang namanya dunia kek gini.

yeah sometimes i feel like im in my own lil world. just me and my biases.

sometimes i feel im too deep falling in delusionals.

sometimes i think there is something wrong with me, yeah. im falling in love with my bias, tooooo deep.

and makes me "i have no boyfriend yet"

ini salah,
iya gue pikir ini salah besar.
gue kenapa sampe sedalem kek gini falling in love nya?
gue pernah nanya sama sunbae gue. mereka pada bilang
"you are not wrong"

gue gak salah kalo memang gue sedih liat bias dating, itu wajar.
lama kelamaan juga bakal ilang, Time will heal your pain.

kadang-kadang gue pengen ke psikiater pengen nanya gue waras ato enggak.
it doesnt feel good you know?
i dont know what i suppose to do right now.